The other side: Loving through the highs and lows
With The Other Side, a SANGDOUX journal series, we are stepping towards a more inclusive conversation around diabetes—one that acknowledges not only those living with the condition, but also those who love and care for them. By sharing personal stories and experiences, we hope to foster a sense of shared understanding and help individuals feel less alone in their journey.
Today was a tough one. My partner and I have been together for three years, and like any relationship, we’ve had our highs and lows. We’ve shared moments of laughter, but also tears and frustration. What sets our relationship apart, though, is the unpredictability of those moments—the irritability and flashes of unprovoked anger that sometimes arrive without warning. It’s not as simple as saying, “Oh, he’s just in a bad mood today.” Loving someone with type 1 diabetes pushes you to rethink boundaries, redefine what’s acceptable, and constantly reassess what understanding truly means.
Today, my partner came home stressed and dealing with low blood sugar, and he didn’t say or do the things I would have liked. In fact, it was quite the opposite. We all have our moments of irritation, but with diabetes, everything feels magnified. So, today, I’m reminding myself of two important things:
First, rather than letting my emotions take over, I need to pause and think about what my partner is really going through. Second, I have to remember to take care of my own mental health, too. Because as much as I love him, this journey is anything but easy.
For anyone out there who finds themselves at a similar point, I want to share some insights and guidance I’ve gathered along the way.
Why mood swings happen: The science behind it
So, why do mood swings, irritability, or even flashes of anger happen in people with T1D? It’s all linked to blood sugar levels. When blood glucose is either too high (hyperglycaemia) or too low (hypoglycaemia), the brain doesn’t get the fuel it needs to function smoothly.
In the case of hypoglycaemia, the brain is essentially running on empty, leading to symptoms like confusion, anxiety, and irritability. Think of it like being so hungry that you’re shaky and on edge—but for someone with low blood sugar, it’s more intense, like their body is in crisis mode.
When blood sugar is too high, it’s a different story, but no less challenging. High blood sugar leaves a person feeling fatigued, sluggish, and generally unwell, leading to irritability and frustration. It’s as if their body is trying to function without the energy it needs, which only adds to their discomfort. In both cases, these emotional reactions are often beyond their control, making it difficult for both them and those around them.
Understanding this gives us some perspective. It’s not about our loved one choosing to be irritable; it’s their body’s response to an imbalance. And when we grasp this, it helps us approach these moments with a bit more compassion.
6 ways to care for yourself while caring for them
Being a partner, parent, or friend of someone with diabetes means we also have to take care of ourselves. Here are some things I’ve learned that can make this journey a little easier:
Set boundaries around emotional energy
Acknowledge when you’re feeling overwhelmed—it’s okay to step back. If a mood swing or outburst has left you drained, give yourself permission to take a break. Whether it’s a walk, some quiet time, or just doing something for yourself, these moments of recharge are vital.
Find your own support network
No one should carry this emotional load alone. Connecting with others who understand—whether it’s a support group, a close friend, or an online community—can make a world of difference. Sometimes just hearing someone say, “I get it,” can help lift the weight of isolation.
Prioritise self-care rituals
Make time for the things that make you feel good. Whether it’s exercise, reading, meditating, or simply enjoying a cup of tea in peace, these small acts of self-care can restore your energy and balance. When your reserves are full, you’re in a better place to handle whatever comes your way.
Learn to identify your own stress triggers
Just as your loved one’s diabetes has its ups and downs, so do you. Be mindful of the situations that cause you stress or frustration, and find ways to manage those feelings. Whether it’s breathing exercises, journaling, or talking things through with someone you trust, being aware of your triggers can help you avoid burnout.
Communicate openly with your loved one
When emotions aren’t running high, have honest conversations about how you both feel during tough times. Understanding each other’s perspectives can build empathy and help you both create a plan for navigating those challenging moments. It’s not always easy, but open dialogue can make a big difference.
Take time to educate yourself
The more you understand about diabetes and how it affects mood, the less personal those difficult moments will feel. Knowing the science behind what’s happening can help you see the bigger picture and respond with patience instead of frustration.
Final thoughts
Living alongside someone with diabetes can be emotionally taxing. It’s hard not to let their condition blur into how we see them, especially when mood swings hit. But it’s important to remember: they’re not choosing this. Their emotional volatility is often a reflection of what’s happening in their body, not who they are at their core.
That said, it’s equally important to remember that we matter, too. The partners, parents, and friends who walk this path alongside them—we need support, outlets, and time to care for our own mental health. In many ways, loving someone with T1D means we’re living with it, too. So, let’s give ourselves permission to take that break, ask for help, or simply sit with our feelings when it all gets a bit too much.
Mood swings and emotional ups and downs can strain even the strongest of relationships. But these challenges are also an opportunity—an opportunity to better understand the person you care about, deepen your connection, and learn how to support each other in ways that truly matter.
Above all, remember that both love and patience—towards them and towards yourself—are the most powerful tools you have on this journey.