Type 1 Diabetes and mood swings: How to support your loved one during low mood patches

How do you deal with a moody partner? Some might say you draw a line, stick to your boundaries, and don’t put up with any of it. But what if said partner suffers from mental health issues or a chronic autoimmune condition like type 1 diabetes? Surely, you’d be a bit more understanding, wouldn’t you?

There have been numerous times in our relationship when my partner’s mood would shift so suddenly and swiftly that I’d be left baffled at how this was even possible. I would find myself finishing a pleasant conversation with him, leaving to do a few things around the house, and returning after a little while only to find him in a completely different state of mind. Needless to say, starting another conversation would not have made any sense at that point.

Yet, I would push hard. I’d insist on another conversation, asking question after question, unsure of why he was in such a bad mood so suddenly. What had happened in the 40 or so minutes I hadn’t been around? No answer, at least none that would have made sense to my emotionally triggered brain. So, reluctantly but hopefully, I would leave him to deflate.

‘Mood swings are normal and common among type 1 diabetics,’ he’d often say. In the beginning of our relationship, I struggled to comprehend (having never known anyone with T1D). However, after conducting my own research and accompanying him to a carb counting course where others with the condition discussed these mood swings, I gradually accepted their existence.

So here is what has changed for me since then and how we are dealing with low-mood situations as a couple:

I. Open communication and acceptance

My partner openly communicates with me when going through a low patch. Correspondingly, I listen, not judge, and accept the situation without further questioning.

II. Support without being overbearing

This point will vary for each individual living with T1D. Some may need alone time, while others might crave someone nearby without being pestered with questions. As a partner or family member, you’ll learn as you go. My partner prefers some time alone and typically approaches me once feeling better. Offering support through preparing a meal or a cup of tea is a thoughtful gesture, surely appreciated by the individual.

III. Educate yourself and put aside your ego

This is something I have personally struggled with a lot. As women, we are often told that we shouldn’t put up with certain behaviours by men. Naturally, my reaction to his mood swings would not be the best. Rather than coming from a place of wanting to understand him and his position, I would be busy fighting my corner. My beliefs are a big part of my identity and ego, after all. What has helped me is educating myself on his condition and its impact on his health overall. This way, I have been able to put my ego aside without the risk of forming any feelings of resentment towards him.

While I will never truly know what it is like to live with type 1 diabetes, it still affects me, as well as everyone else who lives with and loves someone with the condition. They say challenges are opportunities in disguise. I think all we can do is try to be the best possible support for our loved ones by educating ourselves, listening without judgment, and occasionally putting our ego aside. But promise me you’ll take care of yourself too; after all, you can’t pour from an empty cup.